Monday, April 02, 2007

I love Overheard in New York

Cashier: I'm sorry, but weren't you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring 'cause I knew it was you -- remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. [pays and leaves]
Cashier: [to next lady in line] Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever -- she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: The Other Side...of the Angel, with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost -- you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! The Other Side of the Angel.
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It's called The Other Side of the Angel, look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.

-- Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway

Now accepting speculation about the plot summary of a movie called "The Other Side of the Angel." Ideas? Mine: Joan Allen plays a heroin-addicted prostitute named Theresa Mothers who has an ecstatic religious experience whilst in the throes of withdrawal in jail. In this hallucination (or...is it real?), she has intercourse with Gabriel the Archangel (Costner). None of her buddies in jail believe her -- until, that is, a routine medical checkup reveals THAT SHE IS PREGNANT. How could that be? She's in a solo cell surrounded by women! I won't reveal the ending or the twist, but let's just say it involves one or two big speeches about redemption, plus a thrilling courtroom scene with a paternity test that finally gets to the bottom of this immaculate conception. Co-starring Roma Downey as Theresa's court-appointed psychologist, Della Reese as her compassionate lawyer and Christopher Lloyd as the crusty but benign prison warden. James Ivory directs.

4 comments:

cattleworks said...

Wouldn't it be awesome if at the end Costner the angel crashes through the courtoom roof, all angelically winged and supernaturally powerful and glowing white ALOT and confesses he's the father and everybody just leave Joan alone!
Then he flies off and everybody's dumbfounded.

That Overheard conversation's great.

Sister Immaculate said...

In Catholicism, the Immaculate Conception refers to Mary being born without Original Sin. It has nothing to do with the conception of Jesus. This is a common misconception, even among Catholics.

J.J. said...

Sr: I knew -- I KNEW -- you were going to try to correct me on this. But I am not misusing it. You see, I did not capitalize "immaculate conception." I am using it in the generic sense. If someone were to conceive a child without sexual intercourse, I'd certainly call it an "immaculate" conception, and I wanted to go for that half-pun anyway. Think about it. Like most Catholics, you are too stuck in your own dogma.

Jeanette said...

When I was ten years old, my favorite television program was CBS' BROOKLYN BRIDGE. Peter Friedman was on that show, and at that point he was married to Joan. I saw Peter at a restaurant and went up to him and got his autograph and gushed about the show and said there was no way they could cancel it. He then introduced his wife Joan, star of the up and coming SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISHER. I snubbed her beyond belief.