Cashier: I'm sorry, but weren't you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring 'cause I knew it was you -- remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. [pays and leaves]
Cashier: [to next lady in line] Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever -- she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: The Other Side...of the Angel, with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost -- you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! The Other Side of the Angel.
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It's called The Other Side of the Angel, look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.
-- Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway
Now accepting speculation about the plot summary of a movie called "The Other Side of the Angel." Ideas? Mine: Joan Allen plays a heroin-addicted prostitute named Theresa Mothers who has an ecstatic religious experience whilst in the throes of withdrawal in jail. In this hallucination (or...is it real?), she has intercourse with Gabriel the Archangel (Costner). None of her buddies in jail believe her -- until, that is, a routine medical checkup reveals THAT SHE IS PREGNANT. How could that be? She's in a solo cell surrounded by women! I won't reveal the ending or the twist, but let's just say it involves one or two big speeches about redemption, plus a thrilling courtroom scene with a paternity test that finally gets to the bottom of this immaculate conception. Co-starring Roma Downey as Theresa's court-appointed psychologist, Della Reese as her compassionate lawyer and Christopher Lloyd as the crusty but benign prison warden. James Ivory directs.