Listen 'ere, you ol' sod!

You do well to slouch to your nearest theatre palace and see Oliver Twist, a grand feast o' delight and terror. Wallow in the filf and bad dentistry of 19th-cen'try London! Marvel at Sir Ben Kingsley's prosthetical poetics, at Roman Polanski's confident yarnspinning!

Thank Christ that barmy bastard Burton dint get his sug'ry claws on this story! I'd'a puked in my porridge! ROIT!