Thursday, December 08, 2005

The other side of Brokeback Mountain

What I am really looking forward to is the scene where Jake and Heath throw each other all over the room and nearly break several bones in the process -- anticipating it makes me giggle.
So quotes the prurient New York Post from Jolie in NYC, the blog of a self-described "pop culture-obsessed (former) beauty editor," aged 25. Girlie, you're in for a surprise.

You see, there is no such scene. This is a 134-minute movie with two minutes of gay sex and/or gay-sex-related activity (snogging, cuddling, awkward goodbyes). Understand this. Ledge 'n' Gyll don't throw each other all over the room. They scrape the toe of their craggy boots in the dirt and squint under the brim of their cowboy hats. They thumb their belts and suckle beer bottles. They don't hurl each other over furniture.

The media torrent has spun Brokeback Mountain into, by turns, a gay Western and a sexually explicit romp on the range. There is nothing gay, explicit, or even particularly Western about the movie. But you'll find out soon enough, Ms. Blogger, when you're on your fourth Diet Coke and getting antsy for porn-tastic aerobics.

Back on Earth, Brokeback finally opens tomorrow, trailing a heap of hype that's been piling up since Venice in September, when the film snagged the fest's top award. At this weekend's box office, The Chronicles of Narnia will win, but Brokeback will have staying power. It has locks on Oscar noms for picture, director, actor (Ledge), screenplay, score and cinematography.

Finally: Anthony Lane is spot-on with his review and J. Hoberman is right to call it the "straightest" love story since Titanic. If the movie leaves you unsatisfied, supplement with Annie Proulx's short story, over which every movie executive has admitted to weeping.
"Love is a force of nature" vs. "Nothing on Earth could come between them"


Beedow said...

"His voice is a mumble and a rumble, not because he is dumb but because he hopes that, by swallowing his words, he can swallow his feelings, too:" says Anthony Lane. Well, Ledger should have maybe taken an acting class or something, learning how to "swallow his feelings" and still let the audience understand what the f*%# you're saying. I couldn't stand him or the film. Lo siento mis amigos.

J.J. said...

Poor Stritchy.

Write Or said...

What's "snogging" mean?

Thanks for posting the Proulx link.

J.J. said...

Snogging? Won't tell you what it means, but will tell you you weren't very good at it.

Middento said...

Wait, JJ, you've been snogging Stritchy? Or you want to?


Besides, this movie isn't supposed to inspire you to smooch Stritchy. (applies chap stick)

J.J. said...

Actually, I've been within a foot of Stritchy without her top on. That's the God's honest truth. I'll tell you the story sometime.

Beedow said...

see? this is fun conversation folks. nice done.