1. Joss Whedon writes not for the consumer, but the enthusiast. 2. It's the characters, dummy. 3. Sample lines: "You know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed." "She's starting to damage my calm." "No more running. I aim to misbehave." 4. This movie has a brain, a heart, a nervous system. 5. These people aren't like normal movie people. They got shot, banged up, killed. 6. You're behind in the B.O. race when David Krumholtz is your most recognizable face. 7. Captain Mal Reynolds, a great protagonist. 8. Looks like the trusty Papyrus font has survived five centuries. 9. Franchise? 10. Franchise.
Things I wrote down watching Into the Blue:
1. Sample dialogue: "How much have you missed me?" asks Scott Caan. "Every minute," says Jessica Alba. Say what? 2. I don't want to watch someone else's tropical vacation. 3. Sometimes Paul and Jessica go underwater so we can admire their sinews in slower motion. Courteous. 4. Everyone in this movie has gills. They can breathe underwater for minutes and withstand great pressure. 5. If I had a dime for every time the camera swooped through Alba's cleavage. 6. Hurricane reference. Too soon. 7. Loose lips sink ships. 8. Finders keepers? 9. Was going to jeer Walker for his perm scruff, but I have a perm scruff. 10. It's the Blue Lagoon, with plumbing. And coke.
Both films open Friday, along with A History of Violence in many markets. See Violence or Serenity. Run like hell from Into the Blue. If you want to read my reviews of the films, leave a comment and I'll e-mail you a link.